This whole thesis process is driving me insane. To clarify, my program doesn’t require a “defense,” my committee just has to sign the damn thing. After my adviser having read and reviewed it, in sections, I gave the full draft to the two other committee members. Requesting that they give me feedback within two weeks. I would have liked to get the three of them together in a way, it would have meant that I had one dose of feedback and then could have revised. My adviser said they should send her their comments. Committee member number one is on sabbatical, so I had to mail him a copy. He read it the day he received it and requested a meeting with me. The meeting was somewhat painful since he pointed out many of the same problems that I see in the project and my writing of it. Unfortunately, I can’t write what I would like to because it would be a serious critique of my adviser’s work. Committee member number two is also my current boss on campus. I don’t see him often because he is only in the office 1-2 days a week, but I’m now convinced, since it’s been two weeks and I haven’t gotten is comments, that he must not want to talk to me about it because it’s so bad. (See, I have “issues.”)

The thing is I know it’s crap, but I promised my adviser that I would write something in exchange for her employment of me as a research assistant for a year. I have tried to gently point out to her the problems with this project. She isn’t interested in hearing about it. My committee members are two of the smartest and most senior professors on campus. I’m sure the problems with the project and the things I’m not saying are obvious to them. I just want to get out of here and move on, preferably without having to burn bridges with anyone.

If I ever get the signatures from everyone, my second problem will be the fact that my adviser wants to publish an article from my thesis. We had talked about this, back before I understood the depth of the problem. I really, really don’t want to have to tell her that I don’t think this is publishable, but I also don’t want to have my first publication be something I’m so embarrassed about.

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